| So Much for McDonald's and the Global Village |
[27 Nov 2009|12:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021026.html Soft spoken Greek man at McDonald's counter: Excuse me, do you have breakfast?
Large uninterested lady employee: Honey, we got all the breakfast you want. (points to pictures)
Soft spoken Greek man: Uhm... where is this breakfast?
Lady employee, getting mad: Right up here--anything you want!
Soft spoken man Greek man: So what kind of omelet are you serving today?
--La Guardia Airport
Overheard by: David
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| You Get Too Smart and You End Up Like That Guy in the Wheelchair |
[26 Nov 2009|09:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021021.html Daughter: I'm just thinking out loud.
Mother: Well, don't. Keep it in your head.
Daughter: But mom, it's the only way I can include you in my thoughts.
Mother: That's okay.
Daughter: But mom, don't you want to be smart?
Mother: No, I'm okay the way I am.
--Kew Gardens Road & Union Turnpike
Overheard by: Laura
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| First Get the Pants, Then Find a Man to Get Into Them |
[26 Nov 2009|06:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021020.html Female shopper: How much are these?
Male employee: Those are... What are those? Oh, right, the straight boyfriend. Those aren't on sale.
--Gap Dressing Room, 86th & Broadway
Overheard by: minerfa
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| And Now the Wednesday One-Liners Musical Interlude |
[25 Nov 2009|09:00pm] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021017.html Guy with drum on subway car: Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the musical train. (begins to sing and play drums) I wanna hu-uhmp you. I wanna hu-uhmp you.
--S train
Hipster teen with loud headphones playing n*sync song, humming: (singing) it takes you on a ride! Feel it, when youuur body starts to rock...
(two teens in the center of the subway look at each other, then start rocking their hips).
--Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Amazed
Man standing behind me who decided to start singing along to his ipod: "you wanna get gang-fucked just to pass the time?"
--Waiting for Queens-bound Gtrain
Overheard by: Didn't want to pass the time
Well-dressed young latino guy with ipod: (singing) "billie jean is not my lover... She's just a girl who thinks that I am the one... But the kid is not my son..." (talking) take that into your bleeding hearts and die in peace! ... (a little while later) pearl jam! This is for all my ladies who think they have everything. (singing) "never find a better man... Never find a better man..."
--D Train
Overheard by: not his lady
Homeless man: (singing) new york city can kiss my ass, new york city can kiss my ass, new york city can kiss my ass, and suck. My. Left. Nut.
--University Place
Overheard by: max
hobo with large drum brandishing long blond weave, he begins to sing...
"I'm that baby mama, I'm that baby daddy. Who dat hoochie mama? I'm that baby mama!!!!!"
--Port Authority
Overheard by: Alliem
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| Wednesday One-Liners Opened the Door...to My Heart. |
[25 Nov 2009|06:00pm] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021016.html Train conductor: Stand clear of the closing doors please.
(man darts down stairs and flings himself between doors, holding it open for wife and 2 kids and then getting into the train himself.).
Train conductor: "yeah, great. Are we all onboard the train now? I can see how 'stand clear of the closing doors please' can sound alot like ok come on down and hold the doors for your lady friend and little ones causing potential bodily harm to everyone and making everyone else late. Sounds exactly alike."
--Manhattan Bound N train
Overheard by: Jenny
Conductor: To those holding the doors, please do not as it slows down the train. Yes, I'm talking about you, sir, who has been holding the train doors since you got on at fulton st. Sir, do not hold the doors! I've seen what you look like and if you keep holding the door, the transit police will come and take you away. Now, sir, stand clear of the closing doors!
--42nd st stop 4/5 line
Overheard by: Mambo!!
[doors attempt to close].
Conductor: Ya'll get outta the way of the closing doors!
[doors jerk closed and open violently].
Conductor: Aaaaaaahhhh!
--Inside 7 train at 42nd St.
I was sitting in an empty train car on the "c" train. Apparently, the front of the train was full because the train conductor got on the loadspeaker and said:
"I am not sure if you people have noticed, but this train actually has more than one door. It's true. There are other doors."
Then there was a moment of silence, and he got back on:
"seriously people! Walk. Walk!"
--C Train
please let go of the doors... Cuz I will drag you all the way to journal square.
--33rd and 6th Avenue PATH TRAIN
Overheard by: Mackenzie Richardson
Train conductor to someone holding a door open over the loudspeaker:
"ladies and gentlemen holding the doors open will not get you to your destination, but will get you in a situation. If you want to be such a great new york city samaritan take a test and be a conductor like me!"
--A train, 59th street station
Overheard by: Meghan
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| Wednesday One-Liners Get Kicked Off American Idol |
[25 Nov 2009|03:00pm] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021015.html Man selling storage space (to the tune of "my girl"): I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way? Storage, storage, storage, talking about storage. Storage!
--74th and Broadway
if I can make it there, my ass hurts. - yankee fan singing along to new york, new york but also in pain from sitting in a seat...
--exiting the bleachers at yankee stadium following the first game there
Overheard by: Larry F
Modestly-dressed subway performer (singing): Look at that girl chewing her gum like she means it. My number is (ten scattered numbers) and she should call me after 7 pm when my minutes are freeeeee.
--The 42nd St Shuttle
12-year-old kid, singing: Aj has a big fro... And he has no family...
--7th Street & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Holly
Dmv clerk, rapping in front of line of customers: Back that ass up and grind it on me, grind it on me...
--Atlantic Mall Brooklyn
Overheard by: Emily Rauch
Old man singing to the tune of "all you need is love": All you need is horse shit. All you need is horse shit.
--Strawberry Fields
Overheard by: futurenewyorker
Nanny and #2 little girls, all holding hands crossing the street singing: "I kissed a girl, and I liked it..."
--27th and 2nd
Overheard by: Jessica Rubin
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| Wednesday One-Liners Get Your Whiters Whiter! |
[25 Nov 2009|12:00pm] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021014.html Pseudo-hippie guy, waxing poetic for his entourage: Look, there are two types of people in this world: those who shower alone, and those who shower with their lovers. And some people don't shower at all. Which I guess means... look, there are three types of people in this world.
--NYU
Overheard by: Katie
Gangsta white guy on cell: Remember Matt? The brown guy? Yeah, he shit on my clothes. Yeah. I tell you, when I get home, I'm washing everything and taking a fucking nap.
--Penn Station
Overheard by: Ely Henry
Hobo: Let me get up and wash my hands! Let me get up and wash my hands! Let me get up to wash my hands! Let me get up and wash my hands! Let me get up and wash my hands! Let me get up and wash my hands!
--7th Ave & W 38th St
Lone businessman running out of a building: Go get your prostate cleaned!
--5th Ave b/w 39th & 40th St
Middle age woman, worriedly to friend: And I made him take a shower afterwards. Was that right?
--Union Square
Overheard by: Miriam
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| Why Do Wednesday One-Liners Hate Freedom? |
[25 Nov 2009|09:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021013.html on halloween, a person spotted another person dressed as barack obama and begins speaking about how he likes him. Mid speech, he decides to start rapping and starts with saying "being an american is cool, eat your dads asshole in a pool"
--Grand Central Station
this was overheard minutes after barack obama won the presidential election.
Girl outside of dorrian's smoking cigarette (in a self satisfied tone): "I mean, I need to put my country before my inheritance"
--84th St & 2nd Ave
French man to wife: Ugh, there are so many americans here!
--MoMA
Overheard by: God Bless the NYC
Non-tourist girl on phone, wearing plaid bermudas while watching a group of tourists in bermuda shorts walk by: Add this right next to liking that jonas brothers song on the list of things to be ashamed of - I look like fucking middle america.
--Bowling Green
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| Wednesday Tests the One-Liner Hypothesis |
[25 Nov 2009|06:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021012.html Crazy man, angrily yelling at everyone on train: Your mother was a man. Your mother was a man! You are a miracle of science!
--L Train
Columbia guy: So my friend has this idea for our project to put generators on playground equipment that could let kids power the lights in the park. I told him my only problem with it is: what if we end up electrocuting the kids accidentally? That would be really bad.
--1 Train
Overheard by: Nathan
Psychology TA: I mean, I guess I could tell you about that part of the whole neurological process, but that's getting a little bit into philosophy, and I hate philosophy, and I don't want to talk about it, and I'm the teacher, and I'll talk about what I want in this class, goddammit!
--NYU
Overheard by: queenofscots
Crazy man to himself: The dog. Now, it's the most trainable animal animal in the world. Descended, however, from the wolf, completely wild and untrainable. Think of its feline equivalent, the lion, and a lion can be tamed by man, while domesticated house cats just roll their eyes at you and move about as if you didn't exist. It's a whole mind-blowing scientific biology study.
--Flatbush Ave & Fulton St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kyla M
Teenage girl wearing monkey backpack with a leash: I am *not* a science experiment!
--Park Avenue South
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
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| You Must Be This Tall to Ride These Wednesday One-Liners |
[25 Nov 2009|03:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021011.html Tourist girl on rattling subway car: Disney really got it right with Thunder Mountain Railroad. It feels just like this.
--Downtown R Train
Man to young daughter: It looks just like Disneyland!
--Outside Radio City Music Hall
Overheard by: Rachael
Drunk girl at wine tasting: This one smells like Disney World!
--Van Diemen's, 27th & 3rd
Overheard by: Daniel
Ditzy girl to friends: Oh my god, this is so like Disneyland, where you're waiting in line for a ride and everything's decorated!
--Bathroom Line at Sahara East Bar
Gangster wannabe: Disney World is the shit!
--110th St & Central Park West
Overheard by: Jack T
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| A Two-Bedroom Wednesday, Overlooking the One-Liners |
[25 Nov 2009|12:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021010.html Obese lesbian: Some people have rent-controlled apartments, some people are hookers, some people have Etsy stores...
--Fulton & Pearl
Girl to male friend: I want to get an apartment I can't afford.
--8th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Tara M.
Fashionably dressed Eastern European woman on cell: I live in a place called "apartment." I see very few trees.
--69th St b/w Park & Madison
30-something guy to friend: You can't live in an apartment with 101 Dalmatians! You need a house, they get too big.
--Court St
Overheard by: johnny
Guy on phone in coffee shop: I need your apartment to look like two zombies have just been there feasting upon the corpse of a young girl. To put it simply.
--8th St & 6th Ave
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| Beer Washes Away the Guilt |
[24 Nov 2009|09:00pm] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021009.html Woman #1: Are you getting ice cream?
Woman #2: I'm getting beer.
Woman #1: I thought you said you wanted something chocolatey.
Woman #2: I want chocolate and beer.
--Deli, Lexington b/w 84th & 85th
Overheard by: Daveistrad
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| "Wear a Cardigan Like the Other Grandmas!" I Tell Her. |
[24 Nov 2009|06:00pm] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021008.html College dude: No, seriously, she tries to dress like you.
Hippie girl: You think?
College dude: Yeah, but she can't pull it off because you dress like a hipster. In fact, any attempt she makes is futile.
--Computer Lab, Pace University
Overheard by: Conformity is Futile!
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